i'm going through a huge crisis of faith and a huge crisis of self and i wonder why i was so happy back then. i wonder why i'm so unhappy now. i just wish that everything could be the way it was. parts of me wish that when i wake up tomorrow i'm 13 years old again and we're still at memorial. i guess i just like to live a little bit in the past. i'm told that i'm a victim of obsession...
that's from a phantom planet song. remember when they were just about all i listened to? remember when i dated christian deiderich? or when i wrote that sappy poem about Chris's "Ocean Blue Eyes"? how about when i thought i was going to quit band? do you remember the best lunch period i've ever had? the first day of freshman year when we established the sporknife and the sandwhich arsenal.
i remember all these things about i was and i maybe over dramatic here, but give me a break, 'cause the insomnia is rampant and i've gotten maybe 8 hours of sleep over the past 3 days.
i just have this fear that i've already been the best i'll be and life is kinda down hill from here... which is absolutely ridiculous because i'm 16 freakin' years old and probably have about 84% of my life left ahead... but it scares me. should i be scared of life?? geez!
how did i get like this?
all my love and more,
b
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The B-est Years?
Posted by b2the3 at 7:41 PM
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3 comments:
strangely, i feel better. but that came off much darker and twistier than i had hoped! opps!
Hey, if you have insomnia, you can always talk to me. I'm up until abou 4:30 anyway.
Becca I didn't see this until now, and I don't really want to be that kid that's all like life's not that bad and stuff and I don't know if it's still bothering you but I'm going to be that kid anyway. Life's full of things that suck, it's just how you react to them that makes the difference. Life doesn't just keep going downhill you can stop, pick yourself up and continue up the hill if you really want to. When life gets me down I just think about how lucky I am compared to many other people, like people that actually have to go to Briggs. That gets me motivated too. I loooooove you Becca.
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